The saga is almost over!
Apparently DHL does know where I live because they’ve finally managed to find a truck to deliveer the new monitor out to here (though I shouldn’t get too excited as it just says that it’s with the “delivery courier”). This is after taking 49½ hours to get the thing allll the way from South Bend to Milwaukee (a distance of about 186 miles (or 300km), for a net speed of 3.83… miles per hour, 6.06… km/h). Maybe I should revise my estimation of DHL’s equipment to having lawn mowers, but I think those would even be faster 
So, anyway hopefully my shipment will finally get here!
Oh, I should add that the estimated delivery date is still set for the 16th of March… maybe that’ll change when they actually deliver it? I doubt it 
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