Important! If you have come here searching for things found in this letter, or if you have received a letter similar to this, do not reply to it – there is no hired assassin coming for you. The purpose of this is to get money from you in order to “save” yourself. If you need more assistance about this, feel free to contact me by leaving a comment or by sending me an email by using the button at the right.
Something that I don’t mention too often here are the scammers who I bait into believing any amount of stories. Naturally, they try to get *you* to believe their stories as well. So, I was quite surprised to see this email in the inbox of one of my baiting characters (it was dated May 12th and I just noticed it this morning; I don’t check that account too often, eh? :)). Anyway, this is what the message said:
HELLOW Famous person’s name,
I NORMALLY INTRODUCE MY SELF BEFORE I EXECUTE MY JOB,AM MR DON FABIANO JUTOLIO CHICHI,AN ITALIAN CITIZEN,YOU CAN SEE THAT BY MY NAME AND AT THE SAME TIME A HIRED ASSASSINE (AN ASSASINATOR) THAT IS MY JOB.
I LIKE TO GO STARIGHT TO THE POINT,SOME BODY PAID ME US $350,000.00 (THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES OF AMERICAN DOLLAR) FOR ME TO KILL YOU WHILE THE REMAINING BALANCE OF 150,000.00 (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND) WILL BE PAID AFTER THE JOB IS COMPLETED.
BUT BEFORE I CARRY ON MY DUTY,I NORMALLY LIKE TO HER FROM THE PERSON BEFORE HE OR SHE WILL MEET HIS SUDDEN DEATH,I WILL LIKE YOU TO BRIEF ME THE REASON WHY YOU ARE INVOLVED/ABOUT TO BE ASSASSINATE.
MY BOYS ARE NOW AFTER YOU,THAT IS TO SAY,THEY ARE NOW MONITORING YOUR MOVEMENTS,8 OF THEM HAVE ARRIVED YOUR COUNTRY (THE SPIES TEAM) WHILE THE REMAINING 7 WILL BE ARRIVED NEXT WEEK WHICH IS (THE EXECUTION TEAM)
AS SOON AS THE EXECUTION TEAM ARRIVED,CONSIDER YOUR SELF AS A DEAD PERSON BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY OFFER OR WHAT EVER FROM YOU.I WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS MAY BE INVOLVED ONLY IF YOU MAKE THE REPROT TO THE POLICE OR ANY ENFORMENT AGENCIES,THAT IS TO SAY,IF YOU TAKE THE MATTER TO THE POLICE,ALL,I SAID ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS WILL BE DEAD WITHIN A SHORT TIME BECAUSE I NEVER MISS A TRAGET,I HAVE BEEN IN THE FIELD FOR GOOD 34 YEARS AND SINCE THEN,I HAVE NEVER FAILED/DISAPPOINT ANY OF MY CUSTOMERS.
SO,BE WARNED TILL I HEAR FROM YOU IF YOU LIKE.
It sounds quite scary, but there are a couple of things to note – 1) Take a look at the language – I’ll tell you that in Firefox, there’s a lot of red lines, so a lot of misspelt words 😉 and 2) This guy isn’t Italian at all; he’s in Nigeria, based on his IP address in the mail’s headers.
Lastly, this guy isn’t terribly efficient. If his “SPIES TEAM” were really smart, they’d have known where my character was today (hint: think of small tax havens in Europe). Not only that, this guy should have done the job last week, so why did my character appear on live TV around the world three times today? 😉
Speaking of TV, here’s a real question from one of those late night quiz shows –
What tool is used to drive screws into place?